August 1st, 2008
- Mood:elegant
- Music:System of a Down
Dear Sugar,
When someone compliments me, I get extremely uncomfortable and don't know what to say. I know it's all a matter of insecurity, but I don't see myself as insecure. I love my appearance and who I am on the inside, but for some reason I just cannot accept flattery. I started dating a new guy and he's constantly complimenting me, which makes me feel good, but also incredibly awkward. I am literally incapable of just saying thank you.
To make things even more challenging, I was recently at dinner with family and friends to celebrate the beginning of my sister's new company. In front of over 100 people she asked me and my younger sister to be the faces for her ad campaign. I immediately declined — in a very respectful way. It would have been fun, but I just can't help but feel like someone else might have deserved it more. I don't want to miss opportunities because I have this complex! How can I learn to just take a compliment.
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When someone compliments me, I get extremely uncomfortable and don't know what to say. I know it's all a matter of insecurity, but I don't see myself as insecure. I love my appearance and who I am on the inside, but for some reason I just cannot accept flattery. I started dating a new guy and he's constantly complimenting me, which makes me feel good, but also incredibly awkward. I am literally incapable of just saying thank you.
To make things even more challenging, I was recently at dinner with family and friends to celebrate the beginning of my sister's new company. In front of over 100 people she asked me and my younger sister to be the faces for her ad campaign. I immediately declined — in a very respectful way. It would have been fun, but I just can't help but feel like someone else might have deserved it more. I don't want to miss opportunities because I have this complex! How can I learn to just take a compliment.
News >>> Read more...
- Mood:fun
- Music:Muse
Midwife Diane Goslins farmhouse office bustles with activity this summer morning. Horse drawn buggies line the driveway, while pregnant women line the waiting room inside their hair tucked into bonnets, their dark dresses covered by black aprons.
(AP Photo/Bradley C Bower)
A mother expecting her 11th child arrives with her daughter, who is expecting her first. Women do mending as toddlers scoot around their ankles. Childhood friends reunite, chattering in Pennsylvania Dutch. Sisters shriek with laughter at the unexpected sight of their expectant aunt.
Outside, on the porch in a waiting room of his own a lone, straw-hatted man rocks, amused, pretending not to overhear the women.
The Amish here in Lancaster County may go to the hospital if they break an arm or need surgery, but when its time to give birth they stay home. Usually, they deliver their babies with the aid of a midwife, and the women in this waiting room half-joke that if Ms. Goslin goes out of business, they are through with childbearing.
It appeared to be coming to just that last fall when the Pennsylvania Board of Medicine ordered Goslin to cease and desist assisting her mothers, deeming it practicing medicine and nurse midwifery without the appropriate licensure.
Though the case arose because an infant delivered by Goslin died a day after birth, it was never considered her fault, nor has there ever been any suggestion that her rates of death or complication are unusual. If she were practicing in any of the 24 states that recognize her status as Certified Professional Midwife (CPM) by the North American Registry of Midwives, shed have proceeded with her usual 200 to 300 deliveries a year.
But Goslins case illustrates the debate about whether childbirth is a natural bodily function or a medical event necessitating hospitalization. As in all ethics-meet-medicine turf battles, one partys science is often anothers smokescreen.
Indeed, this isnt new for the Pennsylvania midwife. Last falls case was the third time similar charges were brought against her in 18 years, and the third time they were dropped. In May, a 5 to 2 decision by the Pennsylvania Commonwealth Court overturned an $11,000 fine and lifted the cease-and-desist order. All three cases were brought after the state received complaints that Goslin was violating its licensing regulations. Simply doing what she does is against the law, maintains the state. And her business card, on which Goslin is advertising her services, is clearly evidence of unlicensed practice, says Leslie Amoros, of the Pennsylvania Department of State, which oversees the board of medicine.
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- Mood:playful
- Music:Muse
Most of us get a driving license and start thinking that we can do anything with our top notch vehicles like Freelander . We tend to forget that we can do justice to the license and to ourselves only when we drive safely. “Safe Driving” is not just a chapter to learn and memorize in order to pass the driving test. It means a cautious and disciplined approach towards driving which needs a significant amount of intelligence and common sense.
Discipline, for safety on wheels, requires:
a) Self-analysis: One who rates himself, as the “Best Driver in the world”, is undoubtedly the worst driver. If a passenger complains about fast or risky driving, a driver should never ignore it. Instead, he in his own mind should analyze his driving and should always continue to do so. A continuous analysis should only help the driver by preventing the repetition of errors like a fast corner, or an improper entry into the freeway or a risky quick jump into the traffic.
b) Use of Brain: The driver who continually uses his brain and is ever alert is an excellent driver. The driver’s brain should be able to continuously assimilate and respond to myriad details like (a) traffic and road conditions, (b) condition of the vehicle being driven, (c) weather conditions, (d) external factors, (e) visibility and (f) behavior of surrounding drivers, only to name a few.
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- Mood:swaggering
- Music:Metallica
Washington (dbTechno) - Space scientists from the United States and Japan have come out and stated just how the first stars were born. The first stars, according to researchers, were 100 times larger than the Sun.
The first stars, now known as protostars, were made from small grains of dust, as well as gases, which were remnants of the Big Bang.
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- Mood:carefree
- Music:Coldplay
So today's been a bit rough. My BFF (who just had a baby in December after trying for about a year...) called to tell me she is pregnant again. It was an accident, but of course they are excited nonetheless. She has been with me through this entire journey, and when she told me today she was expecting she burst into tears because she knew how hard it would be for me to take. Oddly enough, her sobbing on the phone made it a little easier. I know it breaks her heart when I am upset, just like it breaks mine when she is.
In other news, our fertility appointment was scheduled for July 25th and J found out today that he can't take off that day. He is in upper management where he works, so usually scheduling is not a problem, but apparently I picked the worst day of the entire year to schedule it on. So I'll be calling tomorrow to reschedule. Of course, I'll let you know the new date. What's more frustrating is that now that BFF is pregnant I feel even more pressure to become pregnant. We've grown up together, literally, and I would love to experience this with her. Not just from the sidelines. Having to reschedule puts me an entire month behind schedule. And that's so irritating.
After a good long cry with my stuffed bunny Cottontail and my cat Huckleberry both snuggled up with me, I've decided the follow suit and not be discouraged. Many of you have created little lists of things that you are thankful for, so I decided in an effort to cheer myself up I would make one, too. And you know what? It worked :) So here it is, in no particular order, the things I am thankful for...
1. My husband. Each day in the journey of infertility brings us closer. I couldn't do this with anyone else.
2. Friends/family- they are so very supportive. I adore my parents, my in laws, and all of my friends, including my new blogger ones!
3. My house. I've been blessed to live in my dream house for several years now. It's got plenty of room to grow, and I'm glad we won't have to worry about feeling cramped inside.
4. My job/insurance. I don't particularly care for the job itself, but I have an awesome boss and really great co-workers. I get 5 weeks paid vacation a year, make great money, and have insurance that will cover alot of our infertility treatment. Most people struggle through the costs of infertility.
5. The safety of my brother. He is a Marine and did 3 tours in Iraq. He is in infantry, and did alot of hand-to-hand combat. He lost about 20 friends, and was ambushed a few times. I'm so thankful he was not harmed.
6. My car. It works, it's not bad looking, and it's air-conditioned.
7. The opportunity to go to school. Even after my extended break, I'm thankful I have the opportunity to go back and pursue a degree in what I want to do, not what have to do.
8. My great doctor. I cannot begin to tell you how much this man means to me. I truly believe he was appointed by God to be a doctor. Each and every appointment I've ever had with him has been awesome. When we were going through the Clomid he took at least 15 minutes to ask me how I was feeling emotionally, and when I didn't know what questions to ask, he answered them for me. He's just amazing.
9. My BFF. We've been best friends now for almost 15 years. She's closer to me than most people are to their siblings. We've had plenty of downs through the years, but we fight through them and come out closer than before. I love her so much, and I know a friendship like ours is rare.
10. Security. Although not having a baby sucks, I'm thankful that at this point in my life I'm secure. Emotionally, financially, spiritually. My walk with God has grown tremendously over the last few years, I'm actually ready to have a baby, and money is not a huge object for us.
There you have it. Reasons why I feel so blessed each and every day.
News the best top 10 >>> Read more...
In other news, our fertility appointment was scheduled for July 25th and J found out today that he can't take off that day. He is in upper management where he works, so usually scheduling is not a problem, but apparently I picked the worst day of the entire year to schedule it on. So I'll be calling tomorrow to reschedule. Of course, I'll let you know the new date. What's more frustrating is that now that BFF is pregnant I feel even more pressure to become pregnant. We've grown up together, literally, and I would love to experience this with her. Not just from the sidelines. Having to reschedule puts me an entire month behind schedule. And that's so irritating.
After a good long cry with my stuffed bunny Cottontail and my cat Huckleberry both snuggled up with me, I've decided the follow suit and not be discouraged. Many of you have created little lists of things that you are thankful for, so I decided in an effort to cheer myself up I would make one, too. And you know what? It worked :) So here it is, in no particular order, the things I am thankful for...
1. My husband. Each day in the journey of infertility brings us closer. I couldn't do this with anyone else.
2. Friends/family- they are so very supportive. I adore my parents, my in laws, and all of my friends, including my new blogger ones!
3. My house. I've been blessed to live in my dream house for several years now. It's got plenty of room to grow, and I'm glad we won't have to worry about feeling cramped inside.
4. My job/insurance. I don't particularly care for the job itself, but I have an awesome boss and really great co-workers. I get 5 weeks paid vacation a year, make great money, and have insurance that will cover alot of our infertility treatment. Most people struggle through the costs of infertility.
5. The safety of my brother. He is a Marine and did 3 tours in Iraq. He is in infantry, and did alot of hand-to-hand combat. He lost about 20 friends, and was ambushed a few times. I'm so thankful he was not harmed.
6. My car. It works, it's not bad looking, and it's air-conditioned.
7. The opportunity to go to school. Even after my extended break, I'm thankful I have the opportunity to go back and pursue a degree in what I want to do, not what have to do.
8. My great doctor. I cannot begin to tell you how much this man means to me. I truly believe he was appointed by God to be a doctor. Each and every appointment I've ever had with him has been awesome. When we were going through the Clomid he took at least 15 minutes to ask me how I was feeling emotionally, and when I didn't know what questions to ask, he answered them for me. He's just amazing.
9. My BFF. We've been best friends now for almost 15 years. She's closer to me than most people are to their siblings. We've had plenty of downs through the years, but we fight through them and come out closer than before. I love her so much, and I know a friendship like ours is rare.
10. Security. Although not having a baby sucks, I'm thankful that at this point in my life I'm secure. Emotionally, financially, spiritually. My walk with God has grown tremendously over the last few years, I'm actually ready to have a baby, and money is not a huge object for us.
There you have it. Reasons why I feel so blessed each and every day.
News the best top 10 >>> Read more...
- Mood:humorous
- Music:The Beatles
